Outside Myself - Recovery
Outside Myself is a series of images compiled after a near death experience and auto accident in 2016.
To bypass this lengthy introduction, scroll down to the images.
There is a commonality to any recovery process although each one is unique.
After my 2016 near fatal incident, I was banned from driving for 6 months. I used my photographic process as a distracting activity to help ease me through this enforced "retreat." As the months passed I realized that my healing journey had similarities to my earlier recovery from a life threatening illness that happened in 1981.
Most or many people will experience one or several acute traumas in their lifetime.
Or it could be a less acute situation, at least in outward appearances - this could be an infection, illness, accident, random mishap, or loss of a loved one. Any difficult event might require a prolonged period of physical and mental healing. There are commonalities to the recovery process that many will recognize. Or you could view this gallery and feel no connection. We are all different.
Each of my images is accompanied by a personal narrative. The following is some technical information.
Feel free to skip this and go directly to the images - or come back to read this after viewing the images.
Other Technical and Background Information.
I may or may not exhibit this series. The narrative could be printed on text panels for each framed image. Or in a lecture gathering, I could project the images as I read the narrative. This would be a more intimate interaction and allow for discussion and participation.
The first time I spoke of my experience in public was at a meeting of the International Association of Near Death Studies 15 months after my accident. I was unable to proceed with everything I had wanted to share, finished up quickly, and slid out the back door. I now consider this incident part of my ongoing recovery process. I had experienced severe pain while I was speaking, and later my chiropractor suggested that I had sparked an acute fight or flight response. This was the first of many red flags indicating that I had some work to do to return to a state of equilibrium.
A few specifics on the visuals.
The central image of this series "Image #1 -Ascend/Descend" is a photographic recreation of my accident which occurred in Sept 2016.
I shot the material for this photo collage at the accident site approximately one year later - Sept 2017.
The car fragments were from a photo shoot before my "event." My SUV was totaled in the accident and I never saw it again. However, I had shot the interior a few years prior for another image.
With this accident, I was unconscious from sudden cardiac arrest and my car drove off the road into an embankment.
Image #1 "Ascend/Descend" is the imagined visualization of my death or near death event.
The other images in the sequence were shot at my home in Walpole, MA from October 2016 to June 2017. Two earlier related images from my car series "Freight Train" and "Into the Light" might accompany this narrative. The recovery process never really ends, but it will in terms of a presentation!
A more detailed summary of my accident appears after the last image in this presentation which fills in some background information.
My personal story might help or be of interest to others who have experienced the aftermath of trauma and/or illness. It could prompt someone to chronicle or explore their own experiences. There are a zillion ways to approach self healing. Mine is mine and yours is yours.
I worked on the series as the months passed as a work in progress on my website. This particular gallery remained hidden and password protected so that I could add and subtract images and comment on how I was feeling along the way. I tried to be true to my feelings as they happened in real time. The photos revealed to me some of my feelings that I might not have seen otherwise. My writing was largely a stream of consciousness. This process was useful to me.
Only recently in 2022 have I removed the password and let the series go where it will. That I have been able to do this is partly because of Covid and political events that have wounded so many. Over the decades I have discovered the hard way that illness or trauma can be ignored by many, and the victim can sometimes suffer from revealing his or her trauma to others. Well, at this point I am letting go of those hesitations.
My role model for this pursuit is my close friend Willard Traub who completed a photo series called "Recovery" with a catalog produced by the Photographic Resource Center in Boston. Wil exhibited his story (with narration) in museum, gallery, and medical sites. I was very impressed with Wil's heartfelt expression and witnessed how others reacted to it. Wil left us in Aug 2015. I was privileged to travel in a small way with him on his journey and felt him with me on mine.
To bypass this lengthy introduction, scroll down to the images.
There is a commonality to any recovery process although each one is unique.
After my 2016 near fatal incident, I was banned from driving for 6 months. I used my photographic process as a distracting activity to help ease me through this enforced "retreat." As the months passed I realized that my healing journey had similarities to my earlier recovery from a life threatening illness that happened in 1981.
Most or many people will experience one or several acute traumas in their lifetime.
Or it could be a less acute situation, at least in outward appearances - this could be an infection, illness, accident, random mishap, or loss of a loved one. Any difficult event might require a prolonged period of physical and mental healing. There are commonalities to the recovery process that many will recognize. Or you could view this gallery and feel no connection. We are all different.
Each of my images is accompanied by a personal narrative. The following is some technical information.
Feel free to skip this and go directly to the images - or come back to read this after viewing the images.
Other Technical and Background Information.
I may or may not exhibit this series. The narrative could be printed on text panels for each framed image. Or in a lecture gathering, I could project the images as I read the narrative. This would be a more intimate interaction and allow for discussion and participation.
The first time I spoke of my experience in public was at a meeting of the International Association of Near Death Studies 15 months after my accident. I was unable to proceed with everything I had wanted to share, finished up quickly, and slid out the back door. I now consider this incident part of my ongoing recovery process. I had experienced severe pain while I was speaking, and later my chiropractor suggested that I had sparked an acute fight or flight response. This was the first of many red flags indicating that I had some work to do to return to a state of equilibrium.
A few specifics on the visuals.
The central image of this series "Image #1 -Ascend/Descend" is a photographic recreation of my accident which occurred in Sept 2016.
I shot the material for this photo collage at the accident site approximately one year later - Sept 2017.
The car fragments were from a photo shoot before my "event." My SUV was totaled in the accident and I never saw it again. However, I had shot the interior a few years prior for another image.
With this accident, I was unconscious from sudden cardiac arrest and my car drove off the road into an embankment.
Image #1 "Ascend/Descend" is the imagined visualization of my death or near death event.
The other images in the sequence were shot at my home in Walpole, MA from October 2016 to June 2017. Two earlier related images from my car series "Freight Train" and "Into the Light" might accompany this narrative. The recovery process never really ends, but it will in terms of a presentation!
A more detailed summary of my accident appears after the last image in this presentation which fills in some background information.
My personal story might help or be of interest to others who have experienced the aftermath of trauma and/or illness. It could prompt someone to chronicle or explore their own experiences. There are a zillion ways to approach self healing. Mine is mine and yours is yours.
I worked on the series as the months passed as a work in progress on my website. This particular gallery remained hidden and password protected so that I could add and subtract images and comment on how I was feeling along the way. I tried to be true to my feelings as they happened in real time. The photos revealed to me some of my feelings that I might not have seen otherwise. My writing was largely a stream of consciousness. This process was useful to me.
Only recently in 2022 have I removed the password and let the series go where it will. That I have been able to do this is partly because of Covid and political events that have wounded so many. Over the decades I have discovered the hard way that illness or trauma can be ignored by many, and the victim can sometimes suffer from revealing his or her trauma to others. Well, at this point I am letting go of those hesitations.
My role model for this pursuit is my close friend Willard Traub who completed a photo series called "Recovery" with a catalog produced by the Photographic Resource Center in Boston. Wil exhibited his story (with narration) in museum, gallery, and medical sites. I was very impressed with Wil's heartfelt expression and witnessed how others reacted to it. Wil left us in Aug 2015. I was privileged to travel in a small way with him on his journey and felt him with me on mine.
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Return to: Gallery